Son # 1 has to read books for Zoom school. I’m terrible at math, so Tracy helps him with that, and I have to get involved with the reading and history classes because I know a bunch of trivia and because I am a famous writer myself.
I thought as long as I have to read these books, I could help a few of you parents out there, too, by providing a sort of expert literary analysis.
A young guy, Gregor, provides for his family. His father is a drunk bum, mother is like on anti-depressants, and his younger sister…
Chula Vista Times
A wife and children held an “intervention” last week to convince a 52-year-old husband and father to mail in the colon cancer test sent to him two years ago on his 50th Birthday. Family and friends do not understand George Clooney’s (real name withheld) refusal to move.
“I tried a professional intervention-type person,” said wife Trixie (not real name). “But the assh*** kept laughing and making jokes like ‘that’s not really what I doo.’ ‘Real funny,’ I said, then hung up.”
Family and friends had mixed emotions when they found out the reason for the gathering held…
Chula Vista Times
A Southern California man says he’s registering a protest against Global Warming by refusing to surf the perfect conditions that have persisted in the Golden State over the last few weeks.
“I’m fed up,” says Jack Clune, a 52-year-old husband, and father of two boys. Speaking from his home in Chula Vista, nearly 15 miles from the nearest beach. Clune says he is engaged in a peaceful protest- for now.
“It’s f***ing ridiculous. Every single goddamn day, the wind is offshore, it’s sunny, and the waves are 4 to 6 feet and firing,” says Clune.
The howling music began to fade out in the darkened studio. Candles lit the recording room, and the lead guitar peeled off the last few mournful notes of the solo in the distance.
Jack St. Desmond opened his eyes and looked over at lead guitarist Davey. Seated on the floor, Davey’s eyes opened, and he smiled and nodded his head. Davey closed his eyes again and put his head back against the wall.
“Boys, that’s the best fuckin’ album you’ve ever made, and that’s the best fuckin’ closing track I’ve heard in a long time. …
Ventriloquism, yoga breathing techniques, sign language, and flashcards
When I turned fifty years old, I realized I was squinting to read everything—especially the bills at restaurants. I dine out frequently. Way too frequently, in fact. How come at restaurants, they make the bill amount on those receipts tiny and impossible to read? Is it some psychological trick they are playing on us so that we don’t register how much money we just spent on a grilled scallop taco? ($14.50, by the way).
It got embarrassing always having to ask the wait staff to read the receipt to me. I was…
Winter is nearly upon us. Daylight savings time is looming (I started this post last week). The world seems like it’s in a general state of depression, as there is a Pandemic and so much uncertainty for the future. (The future seems brighter now, after the weekend).
The courts are closed for jury trials until next summer, so while a personal injury attorney like me can jump up and down and threaten the insurance companies, you really have two choices — settle the case for what the insurance company is offering or wait until next year for a trial.
The other day I was lying on the couch in the Man Cave, feeling sorry for myself because the San Diego Padres just lost to the Los Angeles Dodgers in the NL 2020 playoffs.
My thoughts turned to some of the things I regret in my life, the missed opportunities, and the terrible decisions I made.
If only I could go back in time to fix things.
Suddenly, the comedian George Carlin appeared in the bar stool chair.
“George Carlin, what the hell …?” I asked.
“The powers that be sent me here to give you a chance to travel…
Here is a super-secret, first look at the next story from Jack’s Man Cave!
Dear Cave Dwellers, the wait is over. I offer you here a sneak preview of the next story from the Man Cave. You are getting the first glimpse.
I would add all sorts of pithy puns and allusions- but I’m simply too tired. This story is a real doozie. It took it out of me, I’m not going to lie.
I hope you enjoy it!
Husband, father, son, brother, friend, personal injury attorney, mediocre guitar player, Karaoke singer, former surfer and male model